home.

So I realize that it has been ages since I have written. For a while I forgot all about this blog until I was catching up with Katy (from YWAM) and she asked me if I was still blogging. I sort of had it in my brain that I no longer had anything to say to the world now that I am home but in the last several days I have realized that is entirely false.
A lot has happened since I have been back in the states… I have fallen in love, moved back to Michigan, have been continually job searching for about a month now, have had my mind and spirituality challenged on a weekly basis at mars hill and have found total bliss in the chilly fall weather up here.
I am now working on a project, or I should say brainstorming to form a potential project, with a dear friend. I will wait to unveil anything else about it until it is further set in stone, but in the meantime… it really really excites me.

To touch on re-entry a little bit… it has been hard and a little bit weird coming back to the “western world”. I have for sure experienced more culture shock in this change than any other on my trip. I feel like I am getting a grip on my new life here but some days are harder than others. I am daily praying that I hold fast to everything that took place in the last 6 months of my life…
To sum all of that up I will leave you with a quote from the new Donald Miller book which I am reading… (and going to see him speak tonight at Calvin College)

“If I have a hope, it’s that God sat over the dark nothing and wrote you and me, specifically, into the story, and put us in with the sunset and the rainstorm as though to say, ‘Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.’”

graduation.

WE ARE FINISHED with DTS. Holy cow. I am in Jerusalem and we have finished.
But it is only the beginning.

flying.

Time flies.
Heading to Israel tonight.
Experiencing a little writer’s block lately… my apologies.

rain.

In Pattaya for one more week, in fact our last week. THIS IS OUR LAST WEEK OF MINISTRY. I can’t believe it. I keep telling myself and it just doesn’t seem like it is actually our last week. With that said I feel completely re-energized to carry out what we have started. As excited and glad I am for this phase of my life to be over it does bring up some weird emotions inside of me. I think I am mostly feeling afraid… afraid that I will lose what I have learned, that I will fall back into a mundane routine upon heading home, afraid that I will forget where to find my identity. I am ruined for the ordinary.

Katy and I are spending a lot of time in prayer this week about going home and all of the things that are included in that. It has been really cool so far. I know that I have the strength to carry this out for the rest of my life. I will fight hard but I know that He will always be fighting for me harder than I ever can for myself.

During our last week we are continuing bar ministry and english classes. This morning we went to a prayer/worship meeting and it was exactly what we all needed. Right as we were beginning it started to pour rain. I love the rain here, it really dumps. This city is usually overcast so it might as well rain. Something about dark weather reminds me of Michigan which brings such a restful feeling to my heart. I feel home today.

So yes… We are leaving Pattaya on July 29 and going to Koh Samet for team debrief, from there we are flying to Tel Aviv on August 2. I will be in Israel for school debrief and graduation until August 13. On the 14th I fly back to North Carolina. Home! Once I get home I am going to spend a lot of time relaxing and readjusting- seeing family and friends. Excited.

One more thing… I have found a new music love (not surprising I know) in Gregory Alan Isakov. His lyrics own my life and my days and his music is sweetness to the soul. Perfect for these summer days.

Cheers.

pattaya.

We are winding down. We have less than two weeks of ministry left. I cannot believe how the time has passed so quickly; it seems like yesterday that we were leaving the base in Oxford and saying goodbye to everyone.

We got to Pattaya two days ago and have been getting adjusted and connected with the ministry here. Things look a little different because the guys are doing a separate ministry than us. We are primarily working with the Tamar Center which is a place that gives Thai girls a positive opportunity to learn English and a trade skill to make money to support their families. They do things like card making, baking, they have a coffee/sandwhich shop there and they also do some sewing. They have a really good thing going… So we get to help teach the English classes and then in the evenings we head into the city, Walking Street, to go to bars and meet girls to invite them to come to the Tamar Center.
Pattaya is known as one of the darkest cities in the world. It is the number one place in the world for sex trade and prostitution. Walking down the “red light district” was completely surreal. Lined with bars, clubs, discotheques, you name it, it is one of the saddest sights I have ever seen. These girls are trying to make a living, they are trying to support their families, and this is the only way they know how. I feel like it is a modern day Soddom and Gomorrah; the closer you get (physically) to this district you can just feel darkness and grief fill your heart. My first instinct is to hate the men that come here, I was just looking at them all like disgusting slobs but my heart has changed. I cannot blame anyone for what has happened here… it is a product of sin nature. As dark as it seems, God is so alive in these streets, He is not absent here, He is present, He is the Lord, He is everywhere. Jesus Christ came for sinners… to seek and save the lost (John 3:16) so He is very very close to Walking Street… He is alive there.
Looking into the eyes of these girls and woman is painful. To think that this is their life, day in and day out, from 5 pm to 5 am… selling themselves. I just want to cry out and shake them and tell them that this isn’t the only way, tell them that they are daughters of the King, tell them that they are beautiful and that they are made in the image of God. Tell them that their life is precious and they have value in something far greater than they have ever imagined.
So that is what these last few days are filled with. I am very excited and eager to see what God has in store for His work here.

thailand.

We are in Thailand.
We arrived in Bangkok yesterday and are traveling to Pattaya today and are staying there for the last two weeks of our outreach! I can’t believe time is coming to a close.

I have so much to write about my time in Cambodia. It flew by and so much happened and not having internet access made it difficult to keep this updated but the disconnectedness was very good.

We are about to go get lunch in the city, I will try and write again soon.

fourth.

Note: I have just posted two blogs that I have typed out during the past week… We have not had internet all week so I am just now getting to put them up. Cheers.

Let freedom ring. Haha- it has been quite the 4th of July for us American’s here in Cambodia. Our team consists of 5 people from the States… Me, Katy (Alabama), Rachelle (Ohio), Kim (Indiana) and Landon (Oregon). We all decided that we couldn’t let this day pass us by without participating in the normal traditions that we do back home. Rachelle drew out an American Flag that we hung up, we recited the Pledge of Allegiance at least four times throughout the day, we sand the National Anthem, we even interceded for America at our church prayer meeting. Then our host and wonderful cook, Rose, made us french fries and spaghetti and Kim got us all our favorite sodas. It doesn’t get more American than that right? Well… it does actually get better. We had a little firework show! We had sparklers (of course) and shot off some roman candles and missiles. It was glorious. The best part of all of this is as soon as we had fired the last missile, the Cambodian police showed up to see what all the racket was about. Oh man it was hilarious. Just like back home. The police came! We had a hay day with that.

I woke up feeling really homesick. I love the 4th… I really love it. I just kept thinking about what all my friends and family are doing to celebrate… all of them together, grilling out, going to parades, watching fireworks, it was a hard morning for me. I was really glad to have my little community of American’s here (even though we were ridiculed by the Canadians and Kiwis). I haven’t ever really realized how much I love my country until I started traveling around. We, as Americans, are so blessed.

kampongthom.

There is such an open sky here. You can see for miles in any direction; and the clouds, oh man the clouds are glorious. It is such a picture of God’s creation. The universe declares His majesty.

We arrived in Kampong Thom last Friday after a nice holiday in Siem Reap. As soon as we got here we knew it would be different than anything we have seen yet as far as ministry and just daily life. Our house is in the middle of a village, to the left is wood house with a thatch roof and a satellite dish and to the right is an open boggy field with random cows milling around. Every so often a little kid goes by on a bike and then maybe a family on a scooter and then some cart with loud khmer music playing. It really is a different culture.

We split up into teams of two and are going into different villages to teach english and Bible stories to children and youth. Me and Andrew teach in the Achaliak Village and have about 20 students. I LOVE this ministry, teaching english as a second language to precious Cambodian children is right up my alley.

I can just feel God so near here. I don’t know if it is the disconnectedness from regular life or just the hunger of my own spirit seeking Him and drawing Him close to my heart. Tonight we worshiped on the top porch and a lightening storm started in the midst of our singing, it was so powerful. It was the most spirit filled worship we have experienced on this outreach so far. We were filling this land with our voices, worshiping our God, the Lord Jesus Christ. His spirit came upon me, very gently, like a sweet nourishing kiss of life.

I have never felt so right in where I am nor so certain that the Lord is next to me in all of this. Tonight during worship I was on my knees praying and was just sort of overcome with the fact that I was on a porch in a village in the middle of nowhere in Cambodia. I am utterly amazed that the Lord has brought me here. This whole time I have been struggling with living in the now, with being fully here, my whole focus. I feel like I have finally mastered that, God has taught me to just look at the day ahead of me… not a week from now, a month from now or a year from now, just today. I am able to rest peacefully and wake up and embrace the NOW. That has been my prayer this whole time. Hallelujah.

With all of that said I have made some decisions about what is next in my life. I plan to head home pretty much right after we are done in Israel. I feel called to get back in school and finish up and follow wherever the Lord leads me from there. This will probably all happen in Michigan, Grand Rapids to be exact. I feel the Lord telling me to go home, it is time. I need rest, my body needs rest and I need my family. I am not looking at graduation in Israel like the end of this but just as another step in my walk with Jesus. I am so excited to go home and extend in this blessing that I have received and continue to live all of this out and continue to learn and grow in all the freedom that Jesus brings me.

We are in Cambodia until July 13. A few very exciting things are coming up between now and then… the first being the 4th of July! You have to understand that my team has 5 Americans, 2 Canadians and 2 Kiwis, and as one of the proud Americans, we plan to really celebrate our Independence, even in Cambodia. The second is my dear friend and teammate Katy’s birthday. She is turning 23 on July 8 so that will be a fun celebration as well. We fly to Bangkok the 13th and then spend three weeks in Thailand, meet up with the Far East Asia team on August 2 and fly to Israel! I can’t believe it.

2 Corinthians 6:3-9
We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way; in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger, in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.

slums.

The past two days we have spent in slums outside the city of Phnom Penh. There is a ministry here called Children At Risk and there are about eight to ten permanent people here that go out into the slums 4 times a week to share Jesus with the surrounding community. We primarily worked with and were lead by two married couples… Melanie (from Chattanooga, TN) and Tim (from Cambodia), and Daniel and Frieda from Sweden. It was so cool to get a long-term missions perspective from them. It is so evident that God is using them in huge ways to effect these people, it is like they have been called to this tribe, this people group and refuse to abandon them, they are all really passionate about being consistent and sticking it out even when it seems redundant.

These slums have been relocated in the past year from inside the city to the outskirts. The government forced the people out because they no longer wanted to see them, eventually the people were literally imposed upon, tear gassed, and taken out in the middle of the night. This was the real deal, house after house made of tarps, random pieces of wood for walls, dirt and dust floors, trash everywhere, naked children, kids using the bathroom in the middle of the street, people lying around everywhere and then ten of us, ten white people walking around with broken hearts and praying, asking how to react and speak to these people.

Yesterday we were a part of a Father’s Day program and it was seriously chaos. We got there, decorated this little room with posters and balloons and then the kids and families starting piling in. Immediately all of the kids took an interest in us and we all began to play with them and hold them and hug on them. They were so receptive of our love, it was heart breaking in a way. This little girl, Rya, came and plopped down in my lap, took my arms and wrapped them around her and held on tightly. She looked up at me and although we couldn’t verbally communicate because of the language differences her eyes spoke, I could literally hear a thousand words through the way she looked into my eyes and held onto my arms. My first thought was, I want to take you home with me. Sometimes it is so hard to grasp the realities of these kids’ lives and to wrap my brain around the fact that I really can’t do much but sit here and give her every single ounce of love in my heart, in this moment. God is using this and is still teaching me from it. Nothing breaks my heart more than to see the conditions these people live in. My prayer everyday is that I never become numb to seeing it and that God would continually use us to show His love to them in whatever way it may be and to also realize new ways to bring help and justice to these people. I also pray that they would be given a spirit of diligence and a desire for living like they have never imagined. So that all happened yesterday, I haven’t even gotten into today…

I think my favorite thing about the ministry that we are working with is the day to day diversity and wide spectrum of things they use to reach these people. This morning we woke up and got out to the slum fairly early to have worship and intercession with the ministry family, it was incredible. It is always so cool to worship with brothers and sisters from different nations in one tongue. Ah I love it. Our intercession time was also amazing, there was a real spirit of restoration and expectation. We prayed into domestic violence, drug addiction, sex trafficking, laziness, sickness, male leadership and true conversion. (Ephesians 4:17-28 and 1 Peter 2:9) Afterwards we went out into the slums and did family visits. God is so consistent in breaking my heart for these people. The first woman that we visited was all alone because her husband is really sick. She invited us into her home and her hospitality was so kind considering she had literally next to nothing. We prayed for her as stray dogs, chickens and flies swarmed the room. After praying she looked up and I could see the love of Jesus in her eyes, it was pouring out onto us. It is always humbling and surprising to get so much love and encouragement from those that we are trying to love and encourage.

We continued to walk around and meet families and pray for them and then it started to really rain. To stay dry we ducked underneath this big structure with a roof that was packed, shack to shack, with families. The children immediately started coming over to us, singing, playing and holding our hands. These children have such playful spirits and so much joy in their hearts. These two little girls sat on my lap and again just clung so tightly. Sometimes I think it is more than my heart can handle and just when I think I can’t take anymore I am comforted by the Spirit in such obvious ways.

We were back at our guest house by one, grabbed some lunch and then headed out again. This time we went to see a fellow YWAMer that has temporarily moved to Cambodia to get a taste of long term missions. This girl, Sarah, did her AW80 DTS two years ago and has now chosen to live here and work to help girls that have had their lives taken away from them because of prostitution. The ministry is called Daughters and they take in girls that haven’t been sold to brothels and pay them to do different types of art. These include sewing, metal making, crocheting, cake baking, etc. They are providing a chance for new life and ministering to them all at the same time. I loved this! It was amazing to actually see first hand what I feel so familiar with, as far as FairTrade opportunities and instituting a way to actually see change happen. I couldn’t stop thinking of my mom here and what an incredible chance it is to bring Cambodian culture into the States through selling Daughters products at her store, Theophilus, while helping these girls create new life and draw closer to Jesus. What an opportunity. This is where my heart is. I love this stuff. I love our time in Cambodia so far. I just really feel like we are being used and getting a taste of what different long term mission opportunities are out there.

It has been a really long and packed few days. Tomorrow we are heading to Siem Reap for a four day holiday/midway debrief time. I am so excited! We are waking up to a six hour bus ride and then have a very relaxed agenda for the next little bit. This came at the perfect time, I think the whole team is feeling like it is time for a rest.

Ever since we got to Cambodia I have felt very refreshed and ready to listen. I am putting my arms and hands out and saying, God I’m willing and listening… use me. I have had a huge desire to be in tight communion the past few days and I just feel God helping me commit my mind to Him and others on a daily basis, because I am asking Him for that. That is my prayer for today and tomorrow and the rest of my life.
Hallelujah.

cambodia.

Country number three, we have arrived.
After a long day of travel we got to our Guest House last night around 8 pm, accompanied by Jeremy! It is so great to have someone new with us for a while, brings new life to the entire team.
Today we woke up to a wonderful breeze and an awesome view of the city of Phnom Penh from the 5th floor of our accommodation. My first thought was, I love Cambodia. I have been really excited to get here and so far it has been awesome.
We went to the University of Nations base this morning for orientation only to find two other teams (one YWAM and one TeenMania) worshiping… it was so great to be in fellowship with people doing the same thing as we are. That was really encouraging.
So then Chris, the ministry director here in Cambodia, gave us a full on briefing of the history, religion and culture of Cambodia. It was so interesting.
Afterwards we went on a tour of the city, got to see the killing fields and an old prison as well as the Royal Palace and some markets. It was a great day, jam packed but very interesting.
I know this is short but I’m running out of time for now.
Will write again soon.

godspeed.

It is our last day in Taiwan! I cannot believe how the time is flying by… seriously, we are half way done with outreach. We leave our apartment at 5 am this morning and have an eight hour layover in Bangkok and then head on to Cambodia. WE ARE MEETING UP WITH JEREMY! We are all so excited to see him (one of our school leaders) and he will be with us for about a week.

So once we get to Cambodia we have three days of ministry and then are heading to Siem Reap for a holiday! This is so exciting.

I am glad it is time to move on. Our time in Taiwan has been awesome and very busy but the spiritual heaviness has worn me down quite a bit and if anything I think it will be a good change of pace mentally (and spiritually of course).

I have been living with my headphones in and Fleet Foxes turned up… loud. Man oh man I cannot get enough of Robin’s chillingly unique voice and their ornate harmonies. SO GOOD. It is really incredible music to travel to as well. Oh I am in love with it.

Also, I just need to note how much I miss Jaclyn and cannot wait to meet back up with her in Israel. I’m excited to see our glorious friendship continue to bloom and to see how God has worked in us separately and how we can use that to build each other up, etc. I’m just really very excited to see her again… and be apart of each others lives. Laugh, dine, eat, drink, travel, explore, learn, see… all of that. I’m excited.

Okay- so there are my last words to be typed to you in Taiwan. I can’t believe it has come and gone. God is so faithful it blows me away.

1 Peter 5:6-11

memorial.

top of the taipei 101.

garden.

I feel oddly inspired to write today. My mind isn’t really focused on the fact that I am in Taiwan doing outreach ministry… it is more focused on my immediate surroundings and the music channeling through the wires of my headphones up to my ears.
I look out of this 5th story window and the colors of the skyline look as though they have all been rendered, as if I have changed the scene before me to “antique” mode in iphoto. I can visibly see the smog settling over the bay and the buildings fade out in the distance. I am reminded that I am in a completely foreign land by the quiet murmur of Mandarin voices all around me.
I have been missing out on ministry almost all week due to a raging headache and inability to fall asleep at night (only adding to my headache) so I have had a lot of downtime to sit and think about where I am. It is insane to consider my current location on the globe. Feeling homesick and so far away from all that is familiar I have drowned myself in music this week, fully realizing how much I love and am passionate about the art of it all.
In particular I have found this new musician (well Brian told me about him), The Tallest Man on Earth, and he has a song called “The Gardener” which helps me to see where I am in life right now and where I will be… it is really sweet.

We are leaving Taiwan on Friday and heading to Cambodia… I am really very excited for this transition for many reasons. I think it will be refreshing for my mind to get out of Taiwan, just because of the way that I have physically felt here, and also we are meeting up with one of our school leaders, Jeremy, for about a week. This will bring a lot of energy to the entire team I think. I’m looking forward to it for sure.

It is really cool to be in touch with my parents back home, I have been talking with them a lot lately about a lot of things, including what coming home is looking like.
The best story is that my mom met Katy’s mom (Katy is from Alabama and is on my outreach team now). Her mom was shopping in Brevard and wandered into my mom’s store, Theophilus, and they put two and two together and realized that Katy and I were traveling together. They sent us a picture of the two of them together. Oh it was so sweet to hear about. I don’t know what I would do without Katy here… I am also really excited about our friendship because I know it will go way beyond this outreach because she lives close to my parents in North Carolina and she promises me that she is good at keeping in touch with people.

I have found it really frustrating not doing ministry with my team. I have been fighting thoughts of why I am here and just feeling weak and unused, but it seems every day when I find myself in my hardest moment I am given major encouragement from someone back home or read the perfect verse to feel like God has given me this time to rest up and it is a gift from him. Last night I was at the very end of my rope and I sat down to read and randomly turned to 1 Peter 5 where it says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you,” and just felt total repose in all that I was caught up in. It’s pretty amazing to feel physically comforted by the Spirit in the midst of complete discomfort.

jump!

resting.

writer’s block.

taiwan.

What a change of pace… Taiwan is blowing my mind every single second. Ever since we arrived it has been incredible. Experiencing Asian culture for the first time is nothing like I thought it would be, only better. I love it here. I love it here. I love it here. 

So ministry has also been AMAZING. The whole team is just feeling very different and we arrived ready to get into it. We are staying right in the city of Danshui and I just keep thinking how I have ended up here, in Taiwan. God is so big- I can’t believe I am here. My feet are planted here. 

Yesterday we did ministry with this small church in right in the city. Upon arrival I knew that big things were in store for us that day just by seeing the people’s hearts (of that church). So we did a little encouraging service for the members of the church.. about 8 people total, and then we started preparing for the program we were schedule to do later in the afternoon. We went around the town for a few hours handing out fliers for the afternoon and then wound up at a children’s language school and did an hour program for them. It was probably the best involvement we have had with kids yet… they loved the games and dramas we did and responded and interacted so well. It was really cool to see God move in that room. THEN we went into the square of this little community and started worshiping, and a crowd started gathering. We carried on with testimonies, dramas and music and the crowd grew. It was so amazing to be a part of and the holy spirit was so clearly there with us, guiding our words and actions towards each other and the crowd. We ended up making some friends and having dinner with church. It was such a good day. 

We are studying Acts as a team and it was amazing to see what we have studied go hand in hand with what happened yesterday. At one point Katy and I looked at each other and said, “God has us exactly where we are supposed to be… in Taiwan. Unreal.” It is so amazing to know that I am here by His plan alone. Taiwan. I just can’t get over it. 

As for today… we were a part of a church service and a youth service and then we went into the city and started singing worship songs on the street corner. All I can say about this is… We were broadcasted live on Taiwan Television, Mandie wore a Brittney Spears mic singing worship songs in the middle of Taipei, we got icecream cones that were about a foot high, and a Taiwanese man thought I was waving to him during the middle of our performance of “Na Te Atua” when I was really just doing the motions to the song. Best day ever. Wow. 

Our team is going well. We are getting the hang of traveling together and just knowing when each other need space or love or time or conversation. It is cool to grow closer and closer as a family, and as brothers and sisters in Jesus’ name. 

It isn’t nearly as hot here as it was in Bali. Praise the Lord! Haha, I actually got to wear a beanie and jeans and it was comfortable. This is an answer to prayer. The heat and humidity can really wear you down so that is a huge blessing. 

Being right in the city has been really fun so far. We have taken a lot of public transportation which is one of my favorite things… It is a great chance to see a lot of different sorts of people and be in prayer for them. I also love listening to music as the cityscape flies by out the window of the train, nothing brings me more joy. 

Alright- thanks for keeping up with me. It is so fun to hear from you guys as well… so thanks for being in touch. I miss you all! Keep well.

photos.

street kids ministry.

 

 

 

 

revand, emrie, katy, agung and kaylee @ the blue lagoon.

samuel.

mykonos.

In the Singapore airport right now. When I picture my position on the globe I just can’t believe where God has taken me. Right smack dab in the middle of Asia… oh it’s pretty funny to think about. Asia.
We are stopped in Singapore on the way to Taiwan… just had an extra long layover here so we spent the day in the city. Really strange being thrown into such a metropolitan scene after spending so much time in Bali. Transitions can be rough, has put me in a bit of a homesick/momsick/friendsick funk. Katy is without a doubt my saving grace, especially today. Her friendship means the world to me and I am SO thankful.
I am really excited for Taiwan and what is ahead of us as a team. I feel like we will really get into a groove this time around and am praying for renewed spirits and fresh energy. I have been blessed with being able to talk to some friends and family from home this week… nothing lifts me up like hearing from people back home. Taylor, Brian, Emma and Courtney. So good. It is really cool to see where God provides encouragement during this time in my life.
Alright- I should get some rest.
2 Chorinthians 4:13-18
It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken. Since we have that same spirit of faith, we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God. Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

leaving.

Our days in Bali are wrapping up… it has been quite the adventure. I can’t believe 16 days have come and gone already, when we first arrived it felt like we would never leave. Our ministry time here has been amazing for the most part but we never really found a groove. It felt very “islandy” if that makes sense. The people here are so laid back that sometimes things wouldn’t work out or get cancelled last minute so that was something we all got used to. I think it was a good thing to experience in our first country… 

The last few days we have been doing a lot of beach ministry/evangelism which has been a really incredible experience. We have been able to meet and build a few relationships with some Balinese people who come to the beach everyday, set up their stands and try and sell various things to tourists… surf lessons, massages, manicures, pedicures, sarongs, sunglasses… you name it. Katy and I talked to a little lady named MamaLoca for about an hour the other day and it was just really cool to have an open conversation with her about her religion and her family. 

Outreach has felt different than I expected so far. I have been learning so much about patience and trust in my quiet times which has been awesome. I think Taiwan (we leave Bali on Wednesday morning and arrive in Taiwan Thursday) will look very different from Bali. I am excited to see what God has for us there. The Far East Asia team has been in Taiwan, working with the same people we will be working with, so it will be interesting to see how that effects our time there. I am so excited to move on and am praying about the transition from country to country. 

God has taught me so much about waiting on Him for guidance which has been huge in the past two weeks… A lot has been brought to my attention about the future and what I should do when I get home from this grand adventure. I am really really excited to see what He has in store. 

So I am in an internet cafe right now… still hot and sweaty. It is 86 degrees outside and Kim and I just looked up the weather for Taiwan. I hate to say this but it is 94 degrees there. Oh man. 

Alright- that is about it for now. Hope you are all enjoying the start of summer!

mayfair.

A lot has happened in the past few days. Well I will start with telling you about our day off. Two guys that we met through the CCChurch took us to two separate beaches, one on the east coast and one on the west coast. I didn’t know two more different beaches could exist on the same island. The first was like a little cove of paradise, crystal blue water, white sand and small islands out in the water far in the distance. It was amazing. The second beach was very different, it was more rugged and one of the hottest surf spots in all of Bali. It was at base of big cliffs, it was really really beautiful as well. So we had a really relaxing day and for a few moments it felt like I was on a real vacation. Haha, it was a nice break.

So yesterday we were back into ministry. We helped clean the YWAM base here in Bali because the first DTS in three years starts next week. All of the staff are really excited and it is really fun to see YWAM work in so many different ways. After that me, Katy, Andrew and Rachelle went to school called Street Kids Ministry. This was my favorite ministry we have done yet. We went to an extremely poor area of Bali, the poorest I have seen yet and worked in a small, dark, square room with about 30 kids from that area. We sang songs for them, played games, and just talked with them.  It was really hard, my heart was broken. These were the kids who didn’t have clothes, kids who smelled like urine, kids who have never received the love they deserve, kids who cling to you and never want you to let go because they have never had anyone show them love like this. Nothing pulls on my heart like this, my heart just aches for these children. It is SO hard for me to love on them and then leave them in the condition they are in. What did they do to deserve to live like that? I know they don’t know any different, but I do. I want to extend to them the goodness that Jesus has extended to me… that is where my heart is.

Today we did hospital ministry. It is fun to try out all of these different sorts of things. The Street Kids and Hospital have by far been my favorites so far and I just feel like I have been needed the most in those two areas. So again, me, Katy, Rachelle and Landon went to the hospital with a local guy names Johannes and were able to meet three separate patients and pray for them. The first was a little 8 year old boy with two brain tumors, he could not talk, see or speak. When we were praying over him it was like we were fighting for it, there was such a present darkness there and towards the end he was laughing aloud and his joy was so contagious. It was such an amazing experience. I realized today that even when I am back at home this is the sort of thing I want to be doing. People who are sick and dying are so encouraged and comforted by visitors and we are called to love on the weak and the sick. It was a really cool thing today.

I have been learning so much in just spending time with Jesus and being in the word. Even in my discomfort and homesickness here, he has met me right where I am and has comforted me beyond belief. He is strength in my weakness.

The heat is still incredible. We only have one more week here in Bali and then I will be headed to Taiwan! Amazingly, time is flying.

heat.

Being here is still surreal. Katy and I are constantly looking at each other and saying, “We are in BALI!” It is crazy. It gets even crazier when I see a map and realized where I am geographically. So far from anywhere I ever thought I would be.

God is good. We are still doing a lot of work with the CCChurch and the people involved with that are amazing and so hospitable. I feel like we have been all over this city, Denpensar, going from church to church to school to school. The heat is exhausting but somehow we always have just enough energy to play one more game or do one more drama. 

We have really gotten into the groove of things, doing dramas, giving testimonies, playing games with little children, sitting through entire sermons unable to understand a single word because they are given in Indonesian. Our common phrase for moments like this is, This is Outreach. It is humbling and amazing to see how God uses all of the little things to make himself known. He is continually faithful. 

I have really been missing home lately. Michigan home, North Carolina home and New Zealand home. I am really trying to be here, in Bali and only here. Not looking into the future or living in the past, but it is very difficult. I pray about this every day because the less I feel like I am here, the less effective my ministry will be. It is healthy to miss people and remember old times but I just want to take advantage of the authority God has given me to BE HERE and speak his name out in Bali. That is my focus right now. I have found so much comfort in music lately, especially in falling asleep. Seth Bernard and May Erlewine, Sigur Ros, Gregor Samsa, Josh Garrels, Nick Drake, I find myself almost dependent on them when I lay my head on my pillow at night. 

Thank you all for keeping up with my travels. It is so encouraging to  hear back from you. I miss you all very much! xoxo

bali.

So we have finally arrived after many goodbyes and a long travel day. WE ARE IN BALI! We stepped off the plane late Monday night into some of the most intense heat I have ever experienced in my life. Instant sweat and it feels like you can swim in the humidity. Thank you Jesus.

It feels somewhat surreal to be here, I keep trying to focus everything I have on why I am here and what I am doing and my hourly reminder is saying “eyes on Jesus” to myself. Sometimes it is hard to stay focused in the heat. As I sit in this dingy internet cafe on this dewy night, listening to Josh Garrels for a peace of mind, I am going to recall the last few days as well as I can.

We started working straight away on Tuesday with doing Compassion International Ministry at a local church. The children here are adorable and eager to meet you and speak as much English as they can with you. It is so fun. My already existing heart for kids is now pretty much exploding with wanting to share what I came here to share with them. We have stayed pretty connected with the CCChurch that I mentioned previous and most of our ministry is through them. It is so encouraging to meet young Balinese people who have a passion for youth and Jesus. It is awesome to share in that. So Wednesday we promoted this event that we are giving tomorrow night which includes music, games, dramas, prizes and a testimony (which I am giving… yikes!) and after that we played/taught some children back at the YWAM base that we are staying with. After that me, Katy, Kaylee and Andrew went back to the church and went to a language class and were able to have conversation with young adults learning English. It was the highlight of my day for sure, it was SO fun to just talk and learn about each other’s worlds.. the differences and similarities. God is so good. THEN today we went up from the city into the mountains to a church picnic for the youth. It was a two hour drive up and let me tell you.. the traffic here is insane. There are 18 times as many scooters as vehicles and no road rules, that is the best way I can describe it. Once we got there we set up in this beautiful park… it was like jungle meets sweet landscaping meets nice cool breeze. It was such an enjoyable afternoon. We worshiped (in their language) which was actually really cool… even though I couldn’t understand what was being sung, I was completely overwhelmed with the Spirit of the Lord and looking around me too see all of these people of a different nation worshiping Jesus Christ with me… COOL. Hallelujah.

There is a heaviness in this country. I am continually praying for spiritual strength and unity amognst our team. It really helps meeting Christians here. Vondro, Agoon, Revan and Alvin are a few guys with the church that have just been so amazing to work with.

Although I have limited internet access I have heard from some of the other YWAM teams and it is so encouraging to know how they are doing and to just hear from them. It is SO incredible to just think of us all spread out all over the world with one common mission. Wow.

So I will leave you with that for now. I have been taking loads of pictures but cannot post them because I cannot get internet on my own computer, just in internet cafes. I think of you all at home often and miss you so much!

von.

This is it. We are all parting ways. I am kissing the magnificent New Zealand earth and saying goodbye, with my eyes now fixed on Southeast Asia and what God has for me and my team there. Last night the Africa/Asia team left (which my best bud Phil is a part of) and it was so hard to say goodbye. It is like having your family all go separate ways for 3 months time. Although so much lies ahead of each of us, it is hard to say goodbye and move into the next phase of our DTS. Pray for comforted hearts. 

Our last week here has been amazing. God has shown me so much through friendships, worship, the starry sky and my outreach team. I am so sad to leave New Zealand but SO excited for what lies ahead. It seems a little surreal that I have been here for almost three months… getting in a daily grind of lectures made the time fly by. I cannot wait to come back here for another season of life. 

We have been dreaming big dreams lately. Me, Jaclyn, Phil, Beau, Kenny and Kristi all sat in the lounge the other night and discussed our dreams for life. It was amazing and so encouraging. We kept building off each other’s ideas and visions and creating new things and making pacts and praising Jesus all the while. It was such a time of fellowship, I will always remember that night. 

 

our sanctuary.

So now we all say goodbye… but only for three months when we will have a glorious reunion in Israel. Hallelujah.

abba.

This week, our final week of lectures, we have Joseph Watson here from Nashville, TN teaching us on Releasing Destiny. He is so energetic and intentional about meeting us all and getting to know us, as a student it is really amazing to see him relate to us all. So far his teaching has also been incredible. He is so passionate about his content and I can just tell it is from his heart which makes it all the more powerful. 

His topic is something I have been wondering about for a while now so I am just eating up everything he has to say. It is only day two and I have already learned so much. He is helping us stir up what God has already put in us, helping us release an aroma of Christ. The two main questions we are working on answering are 1) Who am I? and 2) Why am I here? All of his teaching is based around Romans 12:2-3 which is one of my favorite scriptures of all time. 
If you want to renew your mind, QUIT thinking like the world does. Get outside the box! Your destiny in Christ is never, ever what you DO, rather it is who you are becoming. I am here to transform the world, not to let the world transform me. From his first day of teaching the one principle that really stuck out to me was that worrying is unacceptable as a child of God, it is based in fear and is inconsistent with who God is. This is huge in my life, with where I am and the new lifestyle I am slowly adopting it is easy to start worrying about provisions and plans and whenever I catch myself I take a step back and slap myself on the hand, realizing I need to give up control to Him once again. Psalm 46:10- BE STILL and know that I am God. 
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. 

I have lately been totally blown away with the amount of love God has for ME, as a unique individual. He gave me identity, he formed me, he thinks about me every second of my life. Nothing compares to his love for me! That is how I know he is an amazing God- HE MADE ME! I am perfect forever in His eyes. I am SO SICK of believing in the lies of the world, I want life to the full right now. That is my heart. I am so excited to share this!

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil- this is the gift of God.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

seeds.

I woke up this morning with a sense of home in my soul. I am feeling very poetic and creative. I think it is the weather and the friendly sounds of Seth Bernard and May Erlewine in my headphones. It is snowing, I adore snow. 
I am finally back in my writing groove. I feel Michigan in the air this morning and I think that really helps my imagination and sense of  familiarity. The leaves are blowing around on the earth’s floor, becoming victims of scuffling feet as the sleet hits the window and finds it’s path down, down, down. I feel home and am really missing some dear friends. (You know who you are!!) 

The mood has really changed around the base in the past few days. I think everyone is coming to grips with the fact that we are all leaving each other in a matter of days. It is really weird to realize. I am becoming more and more comfortable and used to the lifestyle of constant transitions. My glass is raised to my current community and to those I will soon encounter. 

 

my family!

 

 

So… I GOT A NEW TATTOO! It is a Maori Koru which symbolizes new spiritual life, growth, strength and peace which all have been a huge part of my time here in New Zealand. I got it to seal my time here and what I have learned and the growth that has taken place in my heart and life. I love it. It is packed with meaning and there is still room for more growth with it. I planted a seed!

Lastly, I just need to let everyone know that I miss my little sister more than anything and want to love on her through this… 
“You got a lot give, waterfall. A whole life to live, waterfall, fall. Tell me who you gonna run to when the waterfalls? Whoa and my heart aches, whoa and then it breaks, whoa and then it gets a mend and then we do it again and again, waterfall. You might have doubts at hand, but don’t go giving in, don’t go giving in. You might have had a better plan but don’t go giving in, don’t go giving in. Take what you can, starlings will sing you a song when you reach dry land. Close your eyes and forget it all, just when you think you know the way the water rolls, waterfall. We got a lot to show, waterfall. No place to go, waterfall, fall. Now tell me who we gonna run to when the water falls? And every-things all right, whoa and then we fight, whoa and then we’re blue, but baby I love you, waterfall. You might have doubts at hand but don’t go giving in, don’t go giving in. You might have had a better plan but don’t go giving in, don’t go giving in. Take what you can, starlings will sing you a song when you reach dry land. Close your eyes and forget it all, just when you think you know the way the water rolls, right when you think you know the way the water rolls, waterfall.”

need.

As I have mentioned before and as most of you know, I’m nearing the end of the lecture phase of discipleship training school here in New Zealand. My time here has been absolutely inspiring and life-changing (just read on below if you don’t believe me) and I am so thankful for having such an amazing network of supports. It has been awesome to have each of you as a part of this journey and hearing from you throughout is the most encouraging thing! I hope that you enjoy keeping up with my adventures and hearing about what I have been learning here. Things are starting to get crazy preparing for outreach and all, which leads me to something our whole team is facing together…

During the last 10 weeks, we’ve developed really strong relationships within our school. We have become a family. Keeping our 6 outreach teams together, 54 students and staff, is really important to us all. As we are getting closer and closer to the departure date the reality of wether or not we will all be going is tough to face. I, thankfully, have enough funds to buy my place ticket but not enough to pay for the remaining outreach fees which brings my whole team down to carry the remainder of my load as well as all of theirs. Several other students are still waiting on God’s provision before we leave. We need every individual talent and personality that each team member brings to the table, we we are all banding together to make sure no one is left behind. 

It would be incredible if you could spend just a moment in prayer and consider whether you are willing to invest in the kingdom of God through our mission. We are a family here and I cannot very well continue on in my journey knowing that I am leaving some friends behind that wouldn’t get the opportunity to use their training of the last 10 weeks as God intended. Each of us has given up our own plans and interests in order to serve Christ’s kingdom during this time. God can and will use every person and resource offered to Him. Even if the gift you can afford seems small, please consider contributing to our school’s outreach. Also, if you know anyone who might be interested in supporting world missions in this way, feel free to pass this information along! Every bit counts, and time is of the essence. We leave for outreach May 18. Without support, some of us will not be getting on the plane… 

One other resource my friends Jaclyn and Beau put together is a video so check it out!!!!

5 habits of a world christian

 Thanks again for all of your time and your support on my adventure! I love you all very much and miss you too! 

If you are interested in supporting checks to the general gift fund for our school can be made out to YWAM Oxford, and sent to: 
YWAM Oxford
PO Box 47
Oxford, North Canterbury
New Zealand 7430

 

THANK YOU!

song.

I have to share these lyrics with you!! They are changing my life and say so much about how I am feeling. The song is “Zion & Babylon” by Josh Garrels…

Oh great mammon of form and function
Careless consumerist consumption
Dangerous dysfunction
Described as expensive taste
I’m a people disgraced
By what I claim I need
And what I want to waste
I take no account for nothing
If it’s not mine
It’s a misappropriation of funds
Protect my ninety percent with my guns
Whose side am I on?
Well who’s winning?
My kingdom’s built with the blood of slaves
Orphans, widows, and homeless graves
I sold their souls just to build my private mansion
Some people say that my time is coming
Kingdom come is the justice running
Down, down, down on me
I’m a poor child, I’m a lost son
I refuse to give my love to anyone,
Fight for the truth,
Or help the weaker ones
Because I love my Babylon
I am a slave, I was never free
I betrayed you for blood money
Oh I bought the world, all is vanity
Oh my Lord I’m your enemy
Come to me, and find your life
Children sing, Zion’s in sight
I said don’t trade your name for a serial number
Priceless lives were born from under graves
Where I found you
Say, my name ain’t yours and yours is not mine
Mine is the Lord, and yours is my child
That’s how it’s always been
Time to make a change
Leave your home
Give to the poor all that you own
Lose your life, so that you could find it
First will be last when the true world comes
Livin’ like a humble fool to overcome
The upside-down wisdom
Of a dying world
Zion’s not built with hands
And in this place God will dwell with man
Sick be healed and cripples stand
Sing Allelu
My kingdom’s built with the blood of my son
Selfless sacrifice for everyone
Faith, hope, love, and harmony
I said let this world know me by your love
By your love
Oh my child, daughters and sons
I made you in love to overcome
Free as a bird, my flowers in the sun
On your way to Mount Zion
All you slaves, be set free
Come on out child and come on home to me
We will dance, we will rejoice
If you can hear me then follow my voice

human.

“I did my best to notice-When the call came down the line-Up to the platform of surrender-I was brought but I was kind-And sometimes I get nervous-When I see an open door-Close your eyes -Clear your heart…
Cut the cord-Are we human?-Or are we dancer?-My sign is vital-My hands are cold-And I’m on my knees Looking for the answer-Are we human?-Or are we dancer?
Pay my respects to grace and virtue-Send my condolences to good-Give my regards to soul and romance,-They always did the best they could-And so long to devotion-You taught me everything I know-Wave goodbye-Wish me well..
You’ve gotta let me go-Are we human?-Or are we dancer?-My sign is vital-My hands are cold-And I’m on my knees-Looking for the answer-Are we human?-Or are we dancer?
Will your system be alright-When you dream of home tonight?-There is no message we’re receiving-Let me know is your heart still beating-
Are we human?-Or are we dancer?-My sign is vital-My hands are cold-And I’m on my knees-Looking for the answer-You’ve gotta let me know-Are we human?-Or are we dancer?”
(Human by The Killers)

I have been made new. On Friday, our final day with Mark Parker, all we did was worship. From 9 in the morning until 8 at night we met, came before the Cross and worshiped, gave up ourselves and felt His presence like never before. I can honestly say it was the best day of my life. I have been made new. 

I can’t even begin to type out all that has gone on here, that is a huge struggle for me here… to try and share all that is happening- it is so hard! So this is my best shot at trying to verbalize what happened on Friday. 

It began with singing songs and speaking out in Thanksgiving, naming what the Lord has already done for us in this place. In the morning there was a tension, a heaviness that filled the room. We, as the body of Christ, were not releasing everything to Him. Mark called us out on it and together we started to tackle all the fear that was holding us back. Completely liberated, we all fell at the foot of the cross, feeling safe and unified among each other and slowly all the walls fell down around us and I have never experienced worship like that before. Physically lighter, spiritual focused and emotionally drowning in the Joy of the Lord! From there we stood up one by one and declared a Gift of Fellowship, something that we were giving up and giving to the Cross. As each of us stood and spoke out the presence of the Spirit got thicker and thicker, we were building a Holy place. I gave up my whole self, I gave up the right to call anything my own, I gave up the desires of my own heart and declared that I will follow wherever he leads me and do whatever he calls me to do! Hallelujah! 
After presenting our gifts of fellowship we then repented and confessed things before the cross and to each other. Humility destroys the power of darkness (Phil 2) and our measure of humility is our measure of authority in His kingdom. It was so hard to get up in front of everyone and confess pride, self deceit, jealousy, fear of man, laziness and neglecting the presence of Jesus but as everyone did claim their own stuff and become transparent you can also see their spirit so pure. It was beautiful and as you can imagine at this point everyone was feeling very raw and open. Ahh, so afterwards we were prayed over and then continued to worship and this is where I am at a loss for words. I have never even imagined worship being like this before. My spirit was so full of joy I couldn’t contain myself, there was an outpouring of the spirit! Hallelujah! Amen! I was anointed, prophesied over and jumping all over praising the Lord with my renewed spirit. I AM SO FREE! I want to cling to so tightly to this freedom and joy. 
Living beyond this seems like such a huge thing. I think the best way to describe last Friday is to say I experienced a little piece of heaven on earth. The fellowship, the community of like minded believers, the love and outpouring of Christ, standing at the foot of the cross, Hallelujah. I feel a difference, I feel at peace, I feel in communion of Christ at every moment, I feel like he is standing next to me as my best friend, lover and Father. When I gave up everything to Him he took it from me and he gave me patience, he gave me courage and he gave me the freedom to live fully In Him. From here I just want to spiral up, he knows my heart, I want to be known for who I am in Him, I am shouting out his name! I gave him my all, I gave him my life. I give him my all, I give him my life. Amen. 

“How constant, how divine, this love of ours will rise, oh, how constant, how divine, this song of ours will rise… will rise! Ooh Praise Him! He is Holy! Hallelujah!”

box.

Ah time is flying by! I can’t believe I am in the middle of week 9 here already! Only 2 1/2 more weeks! Ever since faith week things have been insanely busy… I have been really burnt out but in the best of ways I guess. 
So last week we studied the Holy Spirit with Daria and Gary Rosenburg (one of our trip leader’s parents). It was an amazing week; a lot happened that I never expected to experience. Growing up in a nation where manifestations of the Holy Spirit are pretty much unheard of (in the physical sense) has really closed me off to this whole thing so it was really awesome to see the Lord work on me in that way. I feel like all week I was gradually opened up and filled with the most gentle presence of the Holy Spirit and I am still sort of walking and dwelling in that peace. It almost feels like a warm light surrounding me. That is the best I can describe it. 

 

me & jaclyn at the LOVE FEAST!

So that brings me to last weekend. After Friday Night Outreach which was awesome, me and Jaclyn stayed in Christchurch and had a girls night at a local hostel. It was so great to get away and just chill, talk, catch up on things. That is how busy we have been here… I also got a major short pixie haircut which is fun. THEN on Saturday we woke up, hung out and went to the Invisible Children Rescue in Christchurch City. It was so cool, over 800 people showed up and it was seriously awesome to all be there in the spirit of freedom. 

 

invisible children rescue.

And that finally leads me to this week. We have Mark Parker here teaching on Lordship. He is the most incredible teacher I have ever had. Think the grinch with teaching power of the good Lord himself. (Can you tell Phil just arrived to help me?) I honestly can’t even describe what he is doing to us all here… the truth that he speaks in is so powerful. I’m sure I will have more after the week is done. Last night during worship Jaclyn and I made a decision. The Lord has been working in both of us in crazy ways… separately but also together. So back to the decision. I think it has been developing for a long time but we got up on the altar during worship and jumped off together, holding hands. As soon as we jumped it seriously felt like we were immersed in the freedom of the Lord. It was seriously SO cool. So that basically entails obeying God in all that we do, to give up ourselves, to give up everything, to quit putting God in a box and going out into the world walking in truth. The sisterhood and bond that Jaclyn and I have built since being here is unreal, it is SO clear that God brought us both here for a reason… Hallelujah. I feel like I am now rambling but it is hard to get all of this out in one sitting to bear with me.  

One last thought… Today Mark played the song “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot, which I used to think was a cheesy lame song but the words were SO moving so I encourage you to look up the lyrics and listen to it. It is sweet. I just want to yell out, WHAT AM I WAITING FOR??? I have fully jumped into Him.

dependence.

I just got back home! By home I of course mean the base here in Oxford… what a week it has been! I guess I will just start from the beginning. 

Last Saturday morning (April 11) my team set out from Oxford with $60, 6 sandwiches, and no plan other than to throw every decision that came before us at God. As you can imagine we were so excited and ready to see what lay ahead for us. 

So a ton happened over the course of the week- I am just going to give you a brief overview of where we went and then I will touch on some specific stories. All I have to say is that I am completely blown away with how God continually provided for us all week. Although we were tested and had struggles, when we called out to Him for help we were never left alone. It was an amazing time of depending on nothing but God, for everything, physical, spiritual and mental. 

Alright- the route… Saturday we went from Oxford to Rangiora to Hanmer Springs to Nelson. Sunday we stayed in Nelson. Monday we went from Nelson to Murchison to Westport to Granity. Tuesday we went from Granity to Westport to Greymouth. Wednesday we went from Greymouth to Harihari to Franz Joseph to Haast. Thursday we went from Haast to Wanaka to Cromwell to Dunedin. Friday we went from Dunedin to Christchurch. Saturday we went from Christchurch to Oxford. Mind you we did all of this by hitchhiking and walking. It was seriously one of the most incredible journeys I have ever embarked on. So often over the course of the week I had the thought, “If my parents could see me now…” 

 

the south island!

 

 

During the course of the week we were given $125, only slept outside one night, got to see Fox Glacier, met people from Scotland, Portugal, Switzerland, Kentucky, Wellington, Denmark and Sri Lanka. At every turn we met God face to face and laid down our needs and every single time he provided for us. John 14 was seriously the verse of the week. God is so good! 

I had one of the most interesting birthdays ever, not to mention it was my 21st! I woke up in a tent on the beach and had a worship/meditation service with Katie and Flavio, then walked for 2 hours in the heat of the day only to get stranded in the middle of nowhere. At the peak of frustration and hopelessness we were picked up by a Sri Lankan couple and taken to McDonalds and a hostel for a warm nights sleep. 

A lot was put into perspective. The way I am living, what I hold as important, the every day privileges that I take for granite, how God can really provide for me, calling out for help in His name… I learned SO much.
And now, I sit in my warm house, listening to the comforting sounds of Seth Bernard & May Erlewine (thanks to Brian) writing about my adventures and reflecting on what to do now. Life in Oxford is good. I have 4 weeks here, that is it! Holy cow this is flying by. Southeast Asia here I come.

 

nelson beach!

regather.

What tremendous love the Father has for me. Yesterday during intercession we watched a short video on some statistics on the nation of Turkey and in that video it said, “The average Christian spends 3 minutes a day in prayer.” Hearing that shocked me, convicted me, got my attention. Being totally guilty and falling right into that stat I immediately heard God calling out my name, begging me to come be with him, to talk to him, to spend more time with him. I have never heard such a clear call. In realizing that even being here, surrounded by his word, his teachings, his love all day, it still isn’t enough. He is the one that I should be in constant conversation with, constant prayer to. After hearing him call out my name, the time I have spent with him has been INCREDIBLE. God is so good, seriously, his goodness is overwhelming. 

This week has been AWESOME in other ways as well. We have two speakers here, both work with The Traveling Team in the U.S., Todd from Arkansas and Claude from Oklahoma. They are fantastic, speaking on Missions. From the first word out of their mouths I have been hooked, attentive, excited to hear what they have to say. This is the topic that is really forming me, shaping me, allowing me to realize what my calling is. Missions is God’s story, missions are what the Bible is about. My global view and knowledge has expanded so much in learning all of this. 

As a Christian, as a follower of Jesus Christ I am a part of the missionary family, I am called to draw in the worship of ALL nations. (Genesis 12:1-3). I have been so challenged with the question, “Why are you doing what you are doing?” Finally, in the place I find myself today, I feel like I will find God’s reason, I will share in my blessing that he has given me, I will learn how to extended the love of Christ to all nations. It is not about me. My entire life it has been ingrained into me that it is about me, the media, the social norm, the culture of the U.S. is so selfish. Because of this mindset it is so hard to get past the blessing that God has given us. The blessing of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, the blessing of land, family, finances and a great name. (Again, Genesis 12:1-3). I am just so excited about this, if you cannot tell. I am wondering why, in all of these teachings, people don’t get this more. This is why we are here! Jesus has called us to share in our blessing, to share His name! Every tribe, tongue and nation. (Revelation 7:9-10). His final words in Acts 1 call us to be witnesses to the ends of the earth. Amen! 

I am loving chewing on all of this, open your heart to it. And as always, thank you for reading and keeping in touch with me. It is SO wonderful to hear from you and know that I am still connected while so far away. 

“You cannot truly understand the beginning of anything until you understand the end.” (G. Spencer Brown)

hardcore.

 

punakaiki.

*Photo from last weekend at the west coast!

To follow up on Faith Week, we found out our groups and more details on what exactly the week will look like. First of all, my group consists of Skye (from Minnesota) and Carsten (from Germany), we plan to head south for now but are still praying for a clear direction. I am seriously so excited for this, it is going to be amazing in and of itself but it will also be great preparation for both outreach and after travel. (Luke 10:1-24) I have been living in this song, “Zion & Babylon” by Josh Garrels lately and I have to share some of the lyrics.. it is amazing and applies perfectly to my life right now—>

“Time to make a change, leave your home, give to the poor all that you own, lose your life so that you can find it. First will be last when the true world comes, livin’ like a humble fool to overcome the upside-down wisdom of a dying world. My kingdom’s built with the blood of my son, selfless sacrifice for everyone. Faith, hope, love and harmony, I said let this world know me by your love, by your love.” 

So Jaclyn, Phil, Kenny and I have been scheming over a plan for after travel for sometime now and are finally starting to set some things into stone. Now that we know our outreach teams and destinations it will be a lot easier to plan accordingly and get our around the world ticket all mapped out. So we plan to hit Turkey, Greece and then Eurorail around Europe for a while, seeing sights and visiting friends until we can no longer. On Friday night we had a really good talk with one of our trip leaders, Will, who has done a lot of traveling. I was able to pick his brain and talk about the reality of our plans and get suggestions and tips on all of that. He was so encouraging, I can’t even explain how excited I was after talking with him. Naturally people look down and even laugh at our travel plans because they are “unrealistic” or respond with something like, “keep dreaming…” But Will said that people don’t dream big enough and that with faith in God, as a continuation of our outreach, so much is possible. So with that said, that is how I am approaching this season of my life. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-14)

Finally, I am so excited to write about last Friday night evangelism in Christchurch. I have been placed on the music team, which consists of a drum circle, a few sing-a-long type songs on guitar and just mingling around. This week we went in with a fresh attitude and more of a plan to help the flow of the evening. The crowd thickens as the night goes on and our main audience is usually a group of guys from Saudi Arabia that are in NZ studying. They are so fun and interact so well, they teach us dances and songs in their language. While it is really entertaining it is still hard to really talk with them and relate to them (for me personally) just because of the language barrier and it is a little intimidating because they are ALL guys. It is also a little challenging to incorporate helping with the actual music part and interacting with people in the crowd, which is the real reason we are there. I was specifically praying for God to use me with anyone that hung around and also that I would have the right words and confidence to talk with them. It all started coming together when Jaclyn and I introduced ourselves to three kids that had been standing around for a while. Hugh, Benji and Abbey. All of them were 16 years old and had a “hardcore” look to them. It couldn’t have gone any better, while we were dancing and jumping around with our maracas and tambourines, they were laughing at us and proceeded to show us how to be hardcore. It was awesome, at first I thought that our conversation really wouldn’t go anywhere just because they seemed to be mocking us a little bit but it turned out that they hung around for over an hour. We got their names and are staying in touch through facebook, they plan to come back next week to hang out. I am so encouraged by this… hanging out with highschool kids reminds me the ministry I was raised in, Young Life. God is so freaking good in that way. Jaclyn and I earned the right to be heard and just by listening to those kids and being open to their style and their beliefs we gained their respect. It was SO amazing to see it all come together. 

A quick Haiku from Phil… 

You are hardcore kids

I really like your hairstyles

and when you kick high.